The Universe is Hilarious

I couldn't have imagined I'd be so gullable as to join that cult...but I was. I blame the ah-ah-ah-ah- alcohol. (Merci Jaime Foxx) And alas, though it has been years since a meeting, I worry they are like Jehovah's Witnesses hopped up on Red Bull and that I will be forever plagued by these psuedo-spiritual nutbags who are addicted to chain letters and the sounds of their own voices/problems. *sigh* Learning experience. And thankful for it.

But feast yon eyes on the deplorable garbage forwarded to me by one of their ilk. (barf bag not included):


Monday, December 14, 2009 7:28 PM
Subject: FW: Christmas 1960 but could be now.. Food for thought.



>
> In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and
> just 75 cents in my pocket.
>
>
> Their father was gone.
>
>
> The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two.
>
>
> Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.
>
> Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would
> scramble to hide under their beds.
>
> He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
>
> Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but
> no food either.
>
> If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that
> time, I certainly knew nothing about it.
>
>
> I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my
> best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove
> off to find a job.
>
> The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town.
>
>
> No luck.
>
> The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I
> tried to convince who ever would listen that I was willing to learn or
> do anything. I had to have a job.
>
> Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of
> town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to
> a truck stop.
>
>
> It was called the Big Wheel.
>
> An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the
> window from time to time at all those kids.
>
> She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in
> the morning.
>
> She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.
>
> I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people.
>
> I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night.
>
> She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep
>
> This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.
>
> That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all
> thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
>
> When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her
> home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged
> every night.
>
> As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
>
> The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and
> began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and
> again every morning before I could go home.
>
> One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and
> found four tires in the back seat. New tires!
>
> There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires.
>
> Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.
>
> I made a deal with the local service station.
>
> In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office.
>
> I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for
> him to do the tires.
>
> I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough.
>
> Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
>
> I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old
> toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something for
> Santa to deliver on Christmas morning.
>
> Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on
> the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
>
> On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big
> Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state
> trooper named Joe.
>
> A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were
> dropping nickels in the pinball machine.
>
> The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of
> the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
>
> When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas
> morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the
> top with boxes of all shapes and sizes.
>
>
> I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in
> the front facing the back seat.
>
> Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box.
>
> Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10!
>
> I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.
>
> Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts
> and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for
> baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes.
> There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There
> was whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.
>
> And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
>
> As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the
> most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude.
>
> And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that
> precious morning.
>
> Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all
> hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.
>
> THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
>
> 1. 'Yes!'
> 2. 'Not yet.'
> 3. 'I have something better in mind.'
>
> God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar.
>
> You may be going through a tough time right now but God is getting
> ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.
>
> My instructions were to pick four people whom I wanted God to bless,
> and I picked you.
>
> Please pass this to at least four people you want to be blessed and a
> copy back to me.
>
> This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we
> receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards
>
> Let's continue to pray for one another. Here is the prayer:..
>
> Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies
> reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and
> power.
> Amen.
>
> I know I picked more than four, so can you.
>
>
>
>
>
>


SLAGDUMP'S NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FORWARD THIS TO ANYONE YOU CARE ABOUT OR YOU WILL GET CROSSED OFF THEIR CHRISTMAS CARD LISTS THIS YEAR. *EVERYTHING IS EXPENSIVE IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY AWKWARD MOMENTS AT THE DINNER TABLE AS THE RESULT OF THIS FORWARD*
>
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