Could I BE any more insecure?

I have often wondered what it takes to be truly hot. Is it a specific turn of pout, a blindingly shiny head of hair, a rack that just won't quit or a waist with the circumference of a coffee cup? What the hell is it?

What I have discovered is that I lack the one thing that makes anyone truly sexy...confidence. I have observed even the skankiest looking chicks working a room like a pro because of that confident gleam that comes from thinking you're the sshiznit. Maybe it's that slow, whitling and undermining Scots Protestant upbringing of mine. Don't show off, don't rock the boat, don't dress like a tramp. Dunno.

What I do know is that, as a result, I can't take the gentlest of compliments without burning red or making some sort of excuse along the lines of "no, really, I'm a piece of garbage..."

I look through the magazines that the receptionist leaves at the front desk and make myself feel worse. I'm not thin enough, my tits are too small, my ass is too round...AND I can't afford any of these fucking clothes!!! It's shameful, I know, to be this self obsessed. It's a damn shame, really because it certainly distracts me from feeling crappy about other aspects of my life, like my career, family and friends. Let me tell you, ain't nuthin more depressing than feeling fugly on top of that.

When I think about it, I figure money could go a long way to fix it...A well made (READ: EXPENSIVE) pair of pants fits a girl with a behind WAY better than cheapos. And I have, what I believe to be, good taste. If only I could afford my taste.

I have now abandoned the idea of plastic surgery as a viable option for confidence building. My attempt at liking my bod the way it is, I guess. It's not entirely failing as an approach either. I'm thinking maybe some dance classes or maybe I should get my ass back on stage to sing, that usually helps. Might be a good idea to relieve some of the office stress, too.

So my homework for French class is done. Joy. Work is boring and I wish I could watch my Montreal Canadiens beat the snot out of the Florida Panthers tonight...but I've got class. Also my Habs can't seem to bloody win at home, so maybe it's for the best.
I have a question...why are all the blogs I come upon either porn, christian kookies or right win nutbags applauding the appointment of Alito or whatever that fascist's name is? Someone please tell me. I've grown weary of sluts and idiots.

GOM, GOM, GOM...You've been Gom so long.

Kay. The former Liberal governement under Chrétien is in a pickle. Seems they padded a few pockets for Ottawa friendly advertising in Québec to boost the feds' image. Kinda backfired, guys.
Now, every dude and dudette in the opposition has fodder for relentless proclamations of Liberal Indecency and Irresponisiblity and Tomfoolery. Christ, I can just hear Harperbot rattling on in my head as I sit here sipping piss-poor coffee. Thanks alot Gomery! Bet those Ad dudes were drinkin' better coffee, lattés probably, what with all those million dollar contracts to tattoo maple leaves on their backsides. And now I have to listen to Harper and his harpies harp on it until the next election. Did I, did the Canadian people, REALLY need to know? Shit, I guess. It was tax money AND MAYBE I would be sipping lattés right now if they knew where to put the money. Doubt it, though. They just would have found some other way to waste my tax money. And why couldn't they have involved Charest in this crap?...FOR THE LOVE OF GOD can we not find SOME way to get rid of him? I'm so tired of him, calmly telling us that there isn't enough money to go around, that "daddy" is strapped for cash as I watch one of the primary institutions responsible for separating(ooh, y'all hate that word dontcha?)Canada from the U.S., slowly leaking down the tubes. Fuckin Liberals. Not that the fuckin Tories are any better...worse in fact. But do my beloved NDP really have what it takes to run my country? Well, better than running it like a country club, no? Cause that's what the Gomery Inquiry boils down to for me. Rich people thinking they can manipulate those around them, especially those they look at as second class citizens. Bloody stupid really cause I don't think ANY amount of glossy ad campaigning aimed at whitewashing Ottawa's relationship with Québec would change Quebecers minds. If anything it would make them more bitter. WHAT a stupid fucking idea...and now this. Gom catching them by the short and curlies...Did they not even question the possiblity that they could get caught?
Gosh, I guess it does make me a little mad! It's not the money that makes me the most mad...It's the really DUMB idea. Same reason I get pissed when I think Chrétien's governement had no plan if there was a YES vote. Nothing. They were just gonna say..."Well, sheesh...did we mention that the question was worded wrong?" GOD! Even children know there are no "take backs". You agreed to it and thought that you'd win by a mudslide, and then didn't have a backup plan. There are no takey backies!
When the fuck is this government going to get a plan??!!!? I want to see a plan, Martin. Cause the wave is turning back and should we not want to get caught in the undertow of Québec sovereignty again...it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than some glossy ads to hold it back.